Trying.
So, I’ve been reading a lot more in my bible lately. I feel a little change, but not much. I feel like what I’m reading isn’t quite hitting the spot. James wasn’t helping, John isn’t quite what I’m looking for, and so far the only thing in Psalms is David praying about how God will rescue him from his oppressors. For me… my only oppressor is myself. I still have no one to talk to. Ashley, just.. I don’t know. Derek, I just don’t think he’d understand. Hampton, he’s not quite on my level, besides, he only talks about himself. And well, that’s it. Everyone else I just… don’t want to talk to. I want help, but I don’t want to seek it. I honestly wish everything in life was handed to me. It sounds so selfish, and everyone else would say “No, no. How boring life would be!” and it’s true. If someone asked me, I’d say the same thing. But, between me and you lonely blog, I wish life was easy. I wish life was perfect. No hardships. Wisdom given to us at different ages in life without having to experience anything. I wish knowledge came easily. I wish thoughts were easy to dissect and understand. I wish people weren’t complicating. I wish no one had drama. I wish everyone spent their time trying to be nice to each other and complimenting one another. I wish boys were like the boys in the books and movies. And I wish girls would appreciate decent boys and didn’t market their bodies. All of this in a perfect world. It may sound boring to a lot of people, but at this moment in my life, it just sounds perfect.
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